The Humbled Homemaker: 10 Things NEVER to Say to Pregnant Women {A Natural Phenomenon}

Two weeks ago I entered my third trimester of pregnancy. I can hardly believe I will meet this precious baby in 10 weeks or less! I love this stage in pregnancy. I’m still holding onto some second-trimester energy, and not only can I feel this baby girl moving like crazy, but I can also see her twist her little body all across my belly.

As much as I don’t want to rush this pregnancy, I’m glad I can finally say I’m in my third trimester--we’re in the home stretch. I showed so early this pregnancy (really, even before I took the pregnancy test!) that people have been asking me for weeks if I am about to have this baby any day.

This is my best friend/college roomie Brantley & I--about 8 weeks before she had her first and I had my second babies!

I know people mean well, but after surveying some of my readers on Facebook and talking to other mommy friends, there are some things we wish people would never say to pregnant women. Here’s a list of my top 10:

1. “Are you sure you’re not having twins? You look too big for that to just be one baby!”
2. “Are you sure they have your due date right? I don’t think you’re going to make it until August.”
3. “You’re going to have your hands full!” (As they look on at my 3 and 1 year old.)
4. “You had a natural birth last time? Was that planned? And you seriously want to do it again? Come on--just ask for the epidural! You don’t have to be superwoman!”
5. “You look like you are due any day now! Do you really have three more months?!”

Image by Crystal_1979

6. “I bet you were really hoping for a boy this time. That’s too bad you’re having another girl. Will you try for a fourth, so you can get your boy?” (Who said we wanted sons? We are thrilled to be having a 3rd girl!)
7. “I was all belly when I was pregnant. I only gained 15 pounds.” (I have definitely gained more than that!)
8. “Wow, you look like you’re going to pop!” (This is worse, says my friend, when it comes from a heavy man with a pop belly--who thumps your belly when he says it!)
9. “You don’t look pregnant. Are you sure you are?” (This can be a compliment to a women of multiple children who has gained a lot of weight, but it can be disappointing to the first-time mom who is already nervous and desperately wants to look pregnant!)

10. And on a serious note: “My friend lost her baby in the third trimester, but I’m sure you’ll be just fine.”

(Please, don’t bring up pregnancy loss to a pregnant woman!)

I’ve had friends who have responded to some of these comments with rude comments of their own, but I usually smile and nod and then ask my husband: “Do I look fat?” And he says, “No! You look pregnant!”

But as my friend Christy of The Simple Homemaker pointed out, “We should not be too easily offended in life or in pregnancy when people speak to us. It is always easy to find offense if we are looking. Some people are just genuinely, lovingly interested, and others are really trying to be helpful....they really are trying to help, and we should offer them as much grace as we would like for ourselves. That said, I've heard many of these comments, and try to reply with respectful humor or a positive comment. Six girls and one boy--you can imagine what we've heard!”

What are some things you've heard while pregnant? Or, what are some things you wish people would never say to pregnant women?

*This post first appeared as one of my columns in the Mooresville Weekly newspaper.

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I am currently using several of Trilight Health's pregnancy formulas--including their Circulatone for varicose vein support and Tri-Iron. In a few weeks I'll start taking their Labor Prep formula (under the guidance of my midwife)! Be on the lookout for a post and great giveaway from Trilight soon!

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Labels: A Natural Phenomenon, birthing, pregnancy