Musing Mondays: Swimming Lessons, Self-Realization & God's Sovereignty

My 3-year-old daughter just finished two weeks of swimming lessons.

I think I may have learned more than she did.

No, I didn’t get in the pool (although I wanted to), but the summer smells of chlorine mixed with sunscreen, the sounds of kids splashing water, the warmth of the sun and the sheer delight of watching my baby girl learn how to swim gave me excitement to return each day.

And I always knew as I watched the group of 20 3-to -5 year olds learn how to paddle their arms and kick their legs and blow bubbles in the water, I’d learn a little more about myself as a parent. 

On day one I realized: I’m a helicopter mom.

My daughter has been in several church nursery-like settings, but she hasn’t been to preschool. When it comes to pools, I found myself nervous about just waving goodbye and letting the teachers take over.

On day one, I stood right beside her on pool’s edge for the first few minutes. 

Oh, I had the excuse of taking lots of pictures and videos. And I was cheering her on.

Normally outgoing, she was extra clingy that day. She cried for me to take her out of the pool.

Then it suddenly hit me: I was the only parent cheering. In fact, I was the only parent standing—at least close enough to the pool that my feet even got a tad bit wet.

I slowly turned my head and noticed all the other parents sitting far back on the sidelines—on beach towels, in lounge chairs, on benches. Some were reading; some were texting on their phones; some were talking to each other.

What they weren’t doing was distracting their little ones from the teachers’ directions.

I put my head down slightly and made my way to the group of other parents.

And my little girl did MUCH better.

I still took pictures. I still videotaped, and I still silently cheered her on—but I did it from a distance.

I couldn’t believe how independent she became (and actually followed the teachers’ directions) once I left her alone.

It made me proud.

And I was filled with the nostalgia of watching my baby girl learn how to swim in the same pool I did.

You see, I never, ever thought I’d witness that—because I never, ever imagined that at age 30 I’d find myself living back in my hometown.

Oh, I spent my time away—10 years in fact. I thought I’d never return.

I didn’t want to. But God’s plans prevail.

His sovereignty always trumps my man-made aspirations.

I’ve been back two years now, and it’s afforded me the opportunity to watch my girls pick strawberries at a local farm, participate in the summer reading program at the library, play at some of the older town parks and take swimming lessons at the community pool—just like I did.

And I’m thankful. I can see God’s sovereignty in even the little things like swimming lessons…and the self-realization that comes when you become a mom. 

Where do you see God's sovereignty in your life--and in the life of your family? Has He surprised you with His plans?

CONGRATULATIONS to the winner of the Yummy Mummy Giveaway--Lexie M.! Stay tuned for another lactation cookie giveaway in a few weeks!

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*This post first appeared in the Mooresville Weekly.
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Weekend Special: 8 Summer Activities to do with your Kids

Image by jacarino

Welcome to this weekend's special post. This post is a reprint of a column I write for my local newspaper. I've added links with nationwide listings of the various activities. I hope this helps you find some summertime activities to do with your children this week!

It’s nearing the end the summer, and kids all over...are getting really bored. And parents? Many are about to go crazy.

You can take your kids to the park or pool.

But even swimming and swing sets get old after a while.

From the free and simple to the extensive and pricey, here are 8 alternatives for summer fun with your kids:

1.  A Children's Museum Why they’ll love it: They're full of resources for imaginative play. Kids can spend the day pretending they’re shopping at a supermarket, cooking at a restaurant or milking cows at a farm (just to name a few).

  Find one near you here.

2. Your local library. Most libraries offer summer reading programs, where you’ll find daily activities, like crafts, story times and even language lessons at some locations. If you live in a city, you could visit a different library every day and never run out of things to do!

Why they’ll love it: You may have books at home, but they aren’t the same books as at the library. Most locations allow kids computer access as well as provide games, puzzles and other educational manipulatives.  
Find one near you here. 

3. A local bookstore. Help hone your child’s literary talents with a visit to a bookstore. Anything from a local reading nook to a big box store like Barnes and Noble will suffice. Some stores even offer educational camps for kids throughout the summer.

Why they’ll love it: It's like a library--but they get to "keep" the books (if you buy them!). 
Find an independent bookstore near you here.

4. A pottery studio. If your kids are artistic, they’ll have a blast!

Why they’ll love it: They can get “dirty” with paint and let their creative juices flow. (And you don't have to clean it up!)
Find a studio near you here.

5.  A Splash Pad. A tad bit safer than swimming, these permanent sprinkler systems are a kid's summer dream! Throw your kids’ swimsuits on, slather on the sunscreen and let them splash away their energy without having to waste your own water.

Why they’ll love it: What kid doesn’t like getting wet in the summer?

I couldn't find a directory of U.S. splash pads, but you can find out more about them here.

    

6. An amusement park. From a small local park that offers train rides or a carousel to the extensive Six Flags, Paramount or Disney chains, your kids will LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this one! 

Why they’ll love it: No need to explain this one!

Find one near you here. 

7. Farms--or a farmer’s market. Kids are fascinated with food and animals.

Why they’ll love it: Whether it be petting the animals or helping you pick out some fresh produce for supper, they’ll feel like they’re playing farmer for the day.
Find one near you here. 

8. The zoo.  Give your kids a peek at exotic animals that they may never see otherwise.
Why they’ll love it: Kids love animals. They can pretend they are on a safari (without having to get on an airplane!).
Find one near you here.   

What are your ideas for summertime fun with your kids?

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Summertime Reading at the Library

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Growing up, my summers entailed Vacation Bible School, swim lessons, and especially, the summer reading program at my local library.

Every writer should be a good reader, right? Well, there are no doubts what I was meant to become because I could have lived at the library.

Back then, my public library was in the same location, but most similarities end there. Instead of a spacious modern building chock full of computers and meeting rooms and more books than you could ever hope to read, the library was not much bigger than a house.

I still remember the joy I felt when entering on the front brick steps. Waving to Mrs. Whitehead and the other librarians as I walked past the circulation desk (they seemed to know all the kids in town) and making my way to the children's section in the back.

My mom and many other parents would just drop their kids off at the library and let us enjoy a few hours reading or making crafts while they ran errands. I would never encourage that now, and it shows just how much the world has changed in 20 years.

It’s amazing to think my mom felt safe leaving my siblings and me there, as those were the days before cell phones (well, there was that mobile phone device that rode around in a bag in the car). The library was a safe haven back then.

Today, children can participate in most reading programs without even leaving their homes. But, back then, instead of the computerized logging systems libraries offers today, each kid had a folder where he or she manually wrote in the name of the books they’d read, the authors’ names, the page numbers and the skill level. 

I remember relaxing on the pink wrap-around bench that sat under the bay window that held the paperbacks. I’d stretch out and enter the land of the Babysitter’s Club, the Boxcar Children or the Bobbsey Twins.

But perhaps my favorite section was the children’s biographies and autobiographies. They sat on a shelf to the left of the children’s entrance. There was a small air vent on the floor, and I would sometimes just sit next to the vent, cooling myself on a hot summer day and learning about anyone from Andrew Jackson to Amelia Earhart. 

I’ve always said real life is better than fiction, and I guess my journalistic leanings began in those days when I reveled in reading of the lives of men and women of old. 

I can still smell the pages of the books. That old, slightly musty library smell. Not exactly fragrant...but I loved it. 

When I moved back to my hometown two years ago, my mom encouraged me to stop back by my old favorite place on Main Street. I couldn’t believe how different the library had become, but I still get a little giddy every time I walk up those brick steps.

I can’t help but think how much those years spent reading there helped form the writer I’ve become.

It will still be years before my 3-year-old and baby will be able to read, but I’ve already signed them up for the family reading program this summer. Any book I read to them will be counted. Good reading starts when mommies and daddies read to their children.

I’m excited to see the excitement on their faces every time I say, “Let’s go to the library!”  

Perhaps some of their fondest childhood memories will be from the summer reading program, too.

What was YOUR favorite summertime activity as a kid? Are you re-living it now with your own kids? I'd love to hear from YOU!

*This story first appeared in the June 24, 2011 edition of the Mooresville Weekly.

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10 Things I've Learned Since Graduation

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Caps and gowns. Speeches and tears. And let’s not forget the pomp and circumstance.

As graduation season is wrapping up, I’ve been thinking back to my own graduations—12 years ago for high school and 8 years ago for college.

Both of these days will forever stand out as highlights of my life. But as the years have gone on, I’ve realized the life lessons I’ve learned since both high school and college are perhaps the most important of all.

From the practical and mundane to the serious and sentimental, here are some things I’ve learned since graduation:

1.How to do laundry. That’s right—12 years ago I had absolutely no clue. My mom gave me a quick lesson before my parents moved me into the dorms, and I was on my own. Besides not washing my sheets my entire first semester (How was I to know how often to wash them?), I caught on pretty quickly. (No worries—my sheets get washed weekly now!)

2.How to cook. This has mostly come in the past 8 years. Even in college, I ate at the campus cafeteria. I started my cooking journey when I lived off campus my senior year. And I made a mean taco pie, spaghetti pizza pie and chicken pot pie. My husband wasn’t feeling the “pie” for dinner every night when we got married, so my recipe repertoire has expanded quite a bit.

3.To embrace each season of life—and to not waste time living in the past—or the future. Each life stage passes too quickly. I remember driving away from college with tears streaming down my face and thinking of all the wonderful memories I had made. Those memories are wonderful, but I’ve made even better ones since. For now, I’m reveling in rocking my baby to sleep and kissing my 3-year-old’s boo boos. 

4.Life won’t always turn out like you expected. Some of my dreams have come true. Some of my dreams have been shattered. God has used both to mold me into the person I have become.

5.Your heart might break, but your heart can heal—if you choose to forgive. 

6.Friends are not always friends forever, but there are a select few who will always be there for you no matter what. And those friendships come in all seasons of life. When I left college, I thought I’d never make another friend like the ones I had there. But some of my best friends today are ones I’ve met the past 8 years. I’ve found kindred spirits in co-workers, neighbors and especially in other moms.

7.The world is much bigger than Iredell County or even North Carolina. Since graduating from high school, I’ve lived with families in Costa Rica, translated for medical clinics in Peruvian villages, cooked on trash can lids in Puerto Rico, walked the Great Wall of China, trekked around Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe, stood as a bridesmaid at my baby brother’s wedding in Argentina, befriended my Iraqi neighbor in Vancouver and moved back to my hometown. 

8.Being a wife and mom at age 30 is much harder but much more rewarding than traveling the world in my 20s. 

9.There are days more significant than graduation. The day my daddy walked me down the aisle to marry my husband, the day I found out I was expecting my first daughter—and my second, the days I met two of the most beautiful redheaded babies I’d ever seen (and felt I had known my whole life) after hours of intense labor: all these days have been much more memorable. 

10.No one will remember what you did in high school—or probably even college. But your babies will remember if they felt loved. And I need to show them how much I love them every day. This season, too, will pass all too quickly. And my little girls will be graduating themselves before I know it. 

*This story first appeared in the June 17, 2011 edition of the Mooresville Weekly.

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Did you like this post? You might also enjoy Relay for Life Season: Faith & Cancer, Starting an action plan takes paper, ink & introspection, or Family Coach helps puts things into perspective.

Relay for Life Season: Faith & Cancer

When I walked the track at my local Relay for Life a few weeks ago, I couldn’t help but think of all the people with cancer who’ve touched my life.

Taylor Gibbs came to mind. The grandson of football and racing legend Joe Gibbs beat childhood leukemia, and I had the privilege of interviewing his family right before they celebrated with Taylor’s Finish Line Festival in May 2010.

Then I thought about Nellie Buehler. I had the honor of interviewing the former teacher shortly before her death in 2010. She passed away a few months later – and I wrote her final story for the Mooresville Weekly. She’ll always be a winner in my mind because she never let her cancer diagnosis stop her from her passion of serving others.

But more than anyone, as I walked the track that night, I thought about my mom.

I fought back tears as I watched her sport her survivor’s T-shirt and finish her lap strong.

It was 1998, and I was a naïve 17-year-old when my mother was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It was devastating.

I was scheduled to leave on a 6-week mission trip to Scotland when doctors discovered that the swollen lymph node embedded underneath her skin was malignant. They scheduled her surgery for a total hysterectomy the day I was to leave. When they dropped me off at the airport, I sobbed and held her as if I would never hold her again.

Standing at that airport gate, I took quick, deep breaths, causing myself to hyperventilate. My face burned red as I choked on the tears that stung my cheeks.

Because in my mind, I was saying goodbye – for what could have been forever.

But when I took my seat on the plane, still sobbing, I experienced something that only my faith in Jesus can explain: peace. I looked at the elderly lady sitting next to me and said: “This must be the peace of God that surpasses all understanding, because there’s no other way to explain why else I’d be filled with peace right now.”

She smiled, encouraged me and simply listened as I explained that as I was lifting into the air, doctors were wheeling my mother into cancer surgery.

Somehow, I knew that everything was going to be OK.
 

My mother started chemo soon after her surgery, and she prayed the whole time I was gone that she’d still have her hair when I returned. She did. It started falling out in clumps the next night. Finally, her friend shaved off the remaining strands about a week later, and she started wearing a wig.

The rest of that year is a blur. There were good days and bad. I remember hiding in my room crying when my mom was sick. I didn’t want anyone to see me sad. I wanted to be strong.

And I remember laughing the windy day my mom’s wig went flying off her head in a restaurant parking lot. The looks on the faces of the people watching were priceless.

When I think back on that year – my senior year of high school – I know it was only God that sustained us through chemo treatments and my mom’s sickness.

And that strength returned when my mom was diagnosed again 4 years later. It was my junior year of college, and this time I skipped class to sit with my dad as my mother underwent surgery again. 

Surprisingly, I remained calm, but my dad paced the floor, bit his fingernails and tapped on his chair.

I read Bible verses aloud, and that peace came again. 

“In this world you will have trouble,” says John 16:33. “But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

At the end of the surgery, the doctors had good news for us. They had caught my mom’s cancer just in time.
 

Cancer changed my mom, it changed my family and it changed me. It made me re-evaluate what’s important in life, and it made me thankful for what I have.

God can use anything for His glory. He used a terrible disease to strengthen my faith in Him.

Have you ever known anyone with cancer? How did you cope? 

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*This story first appeared in the June 10, 2011 edition of the Mooresville Weekly.

Why I'm NOT an Extreme "Couponer"

I confess: I am not an extreme “couponer.”

I had aspirations of trying my hand at couponing sometime this year, but I haven’t made it too far.

It seems extreme couponing is the talk of the town these days. There’s TLC’s “Extreme Couponing,” and I even wrote a story about a former Mooresville resident has been featured on that show.

Some women literally spend hours on end scouring the newspapers and Internet for coupons. I applaud these women. It’s a creative way to help stretch a family’s budget in tough economic times. They see couponing as their full or part-time jobs.

But what works for one person doesn’t work for everybody. Each mom has to find ways to save money that works for her family – whether it’s clipping coupons, cutting hair or in my case, writing stories.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love saving money. My college roommates jokingly said “Laura Lynn” was my friend because it was the name of a local grocery store’s generic brand – and it was all I bought at the time.

But right now, my family’s money-saving strategy has more to do with cutting cable than clipping coupons.

The danger with couponing is that it can become an addiction, and people will buy stuff just because they have a coupon – not because they really need it. I don’t want to take couponing that far.

As I’ve dipped my feet into motherhood the past few years, a lot of my priorities have changed. Nutrition is one of them.

I have no doubts you can save massive amounts of money by couponing. But is it worth it if you do it at the expense of the health of your family?

Let me explain. When I first moved back to Mooresville, I was thrilled to find out that a couple of grocery stores regularly double and triple coupons. When local friends updated their

Facebook statuses with sentences like, “I just spent $2 on $200 worth of groceries at Harris Teeter,” I was more than ready to jump on the bandwagon.

I started collecting coupons and even planned my store trips by scouring prices on websites and tailoring my list to match my coupon collection.

And it worked. On paper it looked like I “saved” money, but I really just came home with a bunch of processed foods that sat in my pantry for months.

You see, it’s easy to find a plethora of coupons for pre-packaged, prepared and processed foods that contain lots of additives like high fructose corn syrup, red40 and MSG.

But coupons for whole, healthy foods – like produce and meat – are hard to find.

If I find coupons for foods my family eats, I use them. But I’ve decided not to coupon on something we normally don’t use just to get things cheaply or for free.

I recently stumbled upon SavingNaturally, a blog dedicated solely to coupons for healthier items, like yogurt or organic cereal. I receive their daily emails, which saves me time from having to scour individual sites for deals.

I also opt to shop at discount stores like Aldi, Big Lots and Ollie’s as a way to save on my grocery budget.

Household items are different altogether. Since I’ve decided that coupons for food items aren’t my cup of tea, I’ve made it a goal to at least try using more coupons for things like toothpaste and toilet paper.

My husband bought me a coupon organizer for Christmas. It’s cute, but it’s not chock full of coupons. Is it possible for me to use coupons on healthy foods and household items without taking it to the extreme?

I welcome your suggestions.

*This column first appeared in the May 12, 2011 edition of the Mooresville Weekly.

Avoiding Meltdowns at the Grocery Store

Image by ckforjc

Have you ever seen a mom struggling on the way into the grocery store?

Perhaps she’s trying to transport an infant in one of those hefty baby carriers while holding her toddler’s hand and making sure she doesn’t drop anything or get them all hit by a car.

Maybe you’ve witnessed her breathe a sigh of relief after wiping down all the grocery cart surfaces with sanitizing wipes and successfully securing her children into their seats.

Then you’ve seen her face turn red in embarrassment when her toddler started throwing a tantrum because she wouldn’t open the package of cookies sitting at the toddler’s eye-level on the shelf.

And then you’ve seen her cave. She glances around to see if anyone else is looking, winks at you, opens that package of cookies, whispers “shhhh” and gives one to her crying child.

If you’ve seen this woman around town, it’s probably been me.

In my pre-mommy days, I would’ve looked at a mother like myself and thought: My child will never act like that in public.

Yeah, right. Any mother of little ones will tell you (if she is truthful), it happens to all of us.

Grocery shopping has honestly been one of my biggest challenges since adding two children to our home. I admit that I told my husband when I was pregnant that he shouldn’t expect me to ever go shopping with both girls alone.

I just didn’t think I could do it.

But waiting until my husband came home from work at night or doing all the shopping on the weekends just didn’t fit in with my schedule.

So, when my baby was a few months old, I decided to risk it one day. I actually did it on a whim. “Hey, maybe I can do this,” I thought.

Once inside, I realized it was a little too close to lunch and naptime for my toddler, and she promptly proved she was not in the mood to grocery shop. She had a major meltdown, and yes, I appeased her with a cookie.

When she continued to cry for a second cookie after the first was gone, I completely ignored her. Yes, that was me glancing at the marked-down meats as if nothing were wrong while my toddler screamed at the top of her lungs.

Things have since gotten better. Here’s what I’ve learned:

• Never go to the store around a mealtime or naptime. It’s a given that your child will want to eat everything on the shelves and will have a meltdown at some point during the trip.

• Take a snack with you. Eating food before paying for it is a desperate measure. Most stores don’t seem to mind if you bring in a small snack and a sippy cup for your child.

• Search for a parking space close to the door or cart return. It’s a lot easier to immediately put your kids in the cart this way.

• If possible, avoid the bakery and candy aisle. What toddler wouldn’t get upset when you stroll by sweets and tell them they can’t have them? Hey, I get excited, too, when I see Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups within arm’s reach, but I have the self-control to resist. Most children are still learning that discipline. Why not avoid the temptation altogether?

• Take advantage of in-store samples and free cookies at the bakery. Just don’t take more than one!

• Accept help. I’ve never been one to let an attendant wheel my cart to my car, but I’ve learned it helps … especially when I have one cartload of food and another cart holding the girls by the end of the trip.

*This column first appeared in the April 25 edition of the Mooresville Weekly.

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One Man's Trash is a Mom's Treasure

Image by Sundstrom

A few weeks ago, I wrote about consignment shopping. This week, I’ve decided to delve into another way parents can score stuff for their kids on a tight budget – dumpster diving. 

Well, sort of …

It’s not something I’ve ever really done. But my parents did it a few times when I was a kid.

I remember riding a yellow-and-green Kermit the Frog Big Wheel when I was 4 years old. My parents snagged the Big Wheel from a neighbor’s trash while we were on a family walk. I think it had a small hole in the plastic, but other than that, it rode great – and it lasted for years. In fact, both my younger siblings enjoyed riding it after me.

Image by moesizlak7

That Big Wheel might have been something small, but it was a big deal to me. I’ve decided that part of becoming a better mom is opening my eyes to blessings I’d miss if I weren’t looking.

One of those blessings came a few weeks ago at the local dump. It was a Saturday afternoon, and I was unloading my bi-monthly recycling pile. I was standing between the clear glass and mixed paper dumpsters when I saw it: the playhouse of my daughters’ dreams.

At first, I couldn’t believe it. Why would someone be throwing away or recycling such a great playhouse? I blinked, rubbed my eyes and started getting excited. Could this be real?

I had seen this playhouse before. It’s the same model found at a local park. It retails for around $500. It has windows with shutters, a sunroof, a fold-out table and even a sink and cabinet. I knew my 2-year-old would love it, and before long, her 5-month-old sister would enjoy playing in it, too.

Hmmmm. An inward battle ensued. Should I approach the man? Is that tacky? He was there to trash the house. I didn’t know why else it would be riding on a trailer attached to the back of his truck. We were at the dump, after all.

I walked up to the man’s window.

“Is that your playhouse, sir?”

“Yes, it belonged to my daughter. She’s outgrown it. Just needs a little cleaning up, and the door hinge is loose.”

I looked over at my minivan and wondered how we’d make this work. This man didn’t have a clue who I was, so I pushed my pride aside and plunged ahead with the next question.
 

“My little girls would love that house. Can I have it?”

My stomach flip-flopped, but his smile eased me. “I’d much rather give it away than throw it away, but I couldn’t find anyone to take it.”

Seeing there was no way the house would fit inside our minivan, the man offered to deliver it – and a toy slide I hadn’t even noticed – to our house. 

I asked if he’d mind going a few extra miles to my parents’ house. They live in the country and have a much bigger yard. Plus, I knew my two nephews would be able to enjoy there.

“I’d be happy to drop it off,” the man said. “I’m just glad someone can use it.”

That man’s trash was this mama’s treasure.

When you see something someone’s throwing away that you think you could use, I’ve learned it never hurts to ask.

I’m glad I asked about the house instead of watching it get tossed into the plastics section of the recycling station.

To the man who gave us the playhouse: I didn’t even get your name. But thank you. You’ve made two little girls and their mama very happy.

This column first appeared in the Mooresville Weekly

on March 25, 2011. 

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