3-Day Potty Training, My Way {Guest Post at The First Years: Potty Training}

Today we continue our potty training mini series as part of our ongoing "The First Years" series that is covering the most precious little years! I'm delighted to have Anne from Quick & Easy, Cheap & Healthy guest posting today! Please pay her blog a visit! 

Image by abbybatchelder

 Guest Post by Anne of Quick & Easy, Cheap & Healthy

 
Let’s start off with some disclaimers, shall we? First of all, I have only ever potty-trained one child, so I am far from an expert. Not even close, actually. 

Secondly, I’ve never read the famous eBook, 3- Day Potty Training; I’ve only read lots of articles and blog posts about it and have had extensive conversations with other moms about it. 

Thirdly, and this is the big one: It takes longer than 3 days. Sorry. I know, I know! Three-days and done? Wouldn’t that be awesome?  
 

But no, of course, it couldn’t be that simple. Like anything else in life worth doing, potty training is going to require some effort on behalf of both parent and child, and it usually takes a certain amount of time as well.
 

Let’s think of the 3-Day Method more in terms of 3 Phases: Pre-Training, Training, and Follow-Up. The 3 days occur in the middle phase (Training) and are the most intense and active portion of the process. 

 

Pre-Training
For the first one and a half years of my oldest son’s life (he’s now three and a half), I did a lot of Googling research on the subject of potty training. I read what seemed like hundreds of articles and blog posts covering all sides of the issue; I browsed through mommy forums all over the internet, learning about the various approaches that real moms tried; I read books and magazines about it; and I observed the successes and failures of all the moms I knew in real life.
 

All of this observation led me to the same conclusion over and over again: the moms who described potty training as “easy” had inevitably spent some time (as much as months) pre-training their little ones. 

The more I thought about it, the more I realized this made perfect sense. How could we possibly expect a toddler to be intellectually, emotionally, or physically prepared to use the potty when they have never had any experience whatsoever with it? You wouldn’t give a kindergartener a novel to read on the first day of school, would you? No, of course not! First, you teach your little genius the alphabet and phonetic principles, then you start handing them books. Easy ones.
 

Potty-training is no different. You need to start at the very beginning, with the “alphabet” of bodily functions. You know the oft-repeated advice to start potty-training “when the child is ready”? You can speed that process up with pre-training. 

 
 

What does pre-training involve?
Talk, talk, and more talk. Even before your child is capable of responding, talk about bodily functions. Talk about where pee and poop come from. Determine what you want your child to call his or her private parts and call them by those names. 

Whenever you change your child’s diaper, mention the contents: “Wow, Baby did lots of stinkies today! Pee-yew!” or “You must have drunk a lot of water; this diaper is very wet with pee-pee today!”. Yes, fascinating conversation. Your child will love it.
 

Place a child’s potty front and center somewhere. Preferably in the bathroom. Make it easily accessible to your child as soon as they have begun toddling around and climbing onto things. The motor skills needed to climb on and off a potty require some development, so give them plenty of chances!  

Before and after diaper changes, and whenever your child shows an interest, offer them the opportunity to climb up on the baby potty and have a seat. And again, talk. Talk about what people do on potties, and how big boys and girls and mommies and daddies don’t do such things in diapers. Talk it up!
 

Allow your child to observe either yourself or his/her siblings using the potty. Really, this is the easiest way for them to learn exactly what goes on in the toilet and what its purpose is. Demonstration is an essential element of all learning!
 

As your child’s motor skills improve, give them every opportunity to practice pulling their pants up and down. Potty-training simply cannot be done adequately until this process is learned, so work on it as soon as your child is capable. 
 

The biggest difference between pre-training and real training is the expectation. When pre-training, there is absolutely no expectation that your child will actually suddenly begin going potty on their own in the right place. Pre-training is all about preparing the way, and setting the stage for Phase 2.
 

Come back tomorrow for Part 2 of the 3-Day Potty Training Method!

Anne is the wife to a wonderful, caring husband and mommy to two wildly-tender little boys. She loves all things Jesus, music, natural, nutritional and chocolate. And coffee. She loves coffee. She was born smack dab in the middle of 10 children and loves being able to stand out amongst the big crowd with her corner of the blogosphere, Quick and Easy, Cheap and Healthy, where she blogs about how to make healthy food without losing money, time, energy… or your sanity. You can also follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

 

10 Things NEVER to Say to Pregnant Women {A Natural Phenomenon}

Image by futurestreet

Two weeks ago I entered my third trimester of pregnancy. I can hardly believe I will meet this precious baby in 10 weeks or less! I love this stage in pregnancy. I’m still holding onto some second-trimester energy, and not only can I feel this baby girl moving like crazy, but I can also see her twist her little body all across my belly.

As much as I don’t want to rush this pregnancy, I’m glad I can finally say I’m in my third trimester--we’re in the home stretch. I showed so early this pregnancy (really, even before I took the pregnancy test!) that people have been asking me for weeks if I am about to have this baby any day. 

This is my best friend/college roomie Brantley & I--about 8 weeks before she had her first and I had my second babies!

I know people mean well, but after surveying some of my readers on Facebook and talking to other mommy friends, there are some things we wish people would never say to pregnant women. Here’s a list of my top 10:

1. “Are you sure you’re not having twins? You look too big for that to just be one baby!”
2. “Are you sure they have your due date right? I don’t think you’re going to make it until August.”
3. “You’re going to have your hands full!” (As they look on at my 3 and 1 year old.)
4. “You had a natural birth last time? Was that planned? And you seriously want to do it again? Come on--just ask for the epidural! You don’t have to be superwoman!”
5. “You look like you are due any day now! Do you really have three more months?!”

Image by Crystal_1979

6. “I bet you were really hoping for a boy this time. That’s too bad you’re having another girl. Will you try for a fourth, so you can get your boy?” (Who said we wanted sons? We are thrilled to be having a 3rd girl!)
7. “I was all belly when I was pregnant. I only gained 15 pounds.” (I have definitely gained more than that!)
8. “Wow, you look like you’re going to pop!” (This is worse, says my friend, when it comes from a heavy man with a pop belly--who thumps your belly when he says it!)
9. “You don’t look pregnant. Are you sure you are?” (This can be a compliment to a women of multiple children who has gained a lot of weight, but it can be disappointing to the first-time mom who is already nervous and desperately wants to look pregnant!) 

10. And on a serious note: “My friend lost her baby in the third trimester, but I’m sure you’ll be just fine.”  

(Please, don’t bring up pregnancy loss to a pregnant woman!)

I’ve had friends who have responded to some of these comments with rude comments of their own, but I usually smile and nod and then ask my husband: “Do I look fat?” And he says, “No! You look pregnant!”

But as my friend Christy of The Simple Homemaker pointed out, “We should not be too easily offended in life or in pregnancy when people speak to us. It is always easy to find offense if we are looking. Some people are just genuinely, lovingly interested, and others are really trying to be helpful....they really are trying to help, and we should offer them as much grace as we would like for ourselves. That said, I've heard many of these comments, and try to reply with respectful humor or a positive comment. Six girls and one boy--you can imagine what we've heard!”

What are some things you've heard while pregnant? Or, what are some things you wish people would never say to pregnant women?

*This post first appeared as one of my columns in the Mooresville Weekly newspaper. 

Check out the other posts in this series: 

• 10 Reasons We Opted to Give Birth at a Birth Center
• Easing Leg Pain During Pregnancy
• Pregnancy Posts Around the Web
• A Tale of Two Births: Medicated vs. Natural Hospital Births, part 2
• A Tale of Two Births: Medicated vs. Natural Hospital Births, part 1
• How to Achieve a Natural Birth in a Hospital Setting
• Real Food Pregnancy Cheats/Shortcuts
• OB or Midwife: Finding the Birth Provider Who Works for You
• A Comparison of Birth Settings: Home, Hospital and Birth Center
• Resources for a Natural Pregnancy

• Hyperemesis Gravidarum: Much More than Severe Morning Sickness   

   

I am currently using several of Trilight Health's pregnancy formulas--including their Circulatone for varicose vein support and Tri-Iron. In a few weeks I'll start taking their Labor Prep formula (under the guidance of my midwife)! Be on the lookout for a post and great giveaway from Trilight soon!

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Announcing: 2 Highly-Recommend NEW eBooks (and a few other mentions)

I am beyond excited to announce that an eBook I've been working on editing for months is being released TODAY! 

I have edited 11 eBooks over the past 6 months, but this one takes the cake. I don't know that I've ever cried while editing an eBook until editing the 13-author The Heart of Simplicity. It was as if the Lord knew I needed to read this book, so He placed it in my lap. 

The Heart of Simplicity is encouraging, inspiring, convicting, and challenging. It's a must-read for every Christian homemaker. I highly recommend it, and I'll be doing a more in-depth review sometime soon! 

This book is priced very reasonably at $9.99, considering the resource that is it--and that it is almost 300 pages long! You can purchase the book here. 

 

The second eBook I want to tell you about is from my friend Leigh Ann at Intentional by Grace--20-Minute Meals: Giving Weary Chefs Grace While Keeping Families Healthy. I was also incredibly privileged to edit this book! In this book, you'll find 4 entire weeks of meals (7 meals for each week) that all only take 20 minutes to prepare! This is a must-have for a mom of little ones (like me!). 

In fact, in the middle of editing this book during nap time one afternoon, I decided to change up my meal plan for the night to make some of Leigh Ann's yummy honey orange chicken! The book is only $4.99!

LIFE by Ashley Pichea is starting up her "31 Days to Pray For Your Spouse Challenge" again on June 4! You can get your copy of the book that leads you through this challenge here. 

Some of my favorite eBooks from one of my favorite bloggers--Stephanie from Keeper of the Home--are currently on sale for a whopping 50% off! You must get her eBook Bundle in order to qualify for the special price. Use code: BUNDLE50.  

Only want/need one of Stephanie's books? (The bundle includes Healthy Homemaking: One Step at a Time, Real Food on a Real Budget and Plan It, Don't Panic.) Use code: CHALLENGE25 to get 25% off any one book. 

*I have included affiliate links in this post. 

 

Humbling Motherhood

Image by AD-Passion 

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past 19 months of “trying to become a better mother,” it’s that I can’t do it. At all. 

Have I learned to cook from scratch? Yes, for the most part (with the added challenge of an egg, gluten and dairy-free diet for my daughter). 

Have I succeeded in going green (er) by using cloth diapers and homemade natural cleaning products? Yes. 

Have I made it through the huge transition from one to two kids while keeping sane? Well--that's up for debate. ;)

Image by Sellers Patton

But what have I learned most of all? There are some things I just can’t do. There are some areas where I fail every day--and probably will continue to fail at if I only tap into my own meager strength. 

And realizing that has been freeing. It brings me to my knees. 

It causes me to surrender all my own aspirations for motherhood or anything else--and give them to God, the only One who can take all my failed attempts at bettering myself as a mother and create something beautiful.

Image by Ryk Neethling

Motherhood is humbling. Really, it’s been the most humbling role I’ve ever “played.” 

Growing up, I pretty much succeeded at everything I tried. Academics? A shoe in. And how my heart swelled with pride to deliver that high school valedictorian speech nearly 13 years ago and wear the “Most Outstanding Female Graduate” medal at my college graduation in 2003.

I knew which areas to avoid, like sports or anything that involved too much math or science. I could steer away from those and miss failure. 

Image by din!
And I sheltered myself in a bubble of the arts and human service: foreign language, writing and literature, theater, missionary work, public service. Anything that matched my gifts were fair game. If I stayed there, I was guaranteed success. 

And then, in June 2008, after that grueling 16 1/2-hour labor, I became a mom. I wept as I held that squirming, red-faced bundle of joy that came out of me. 

Truly, it still amazes me every time I have a conversation with my well-articulated almost 4 year old. “You know you used to lived in Mommy’s tummy, right?” I ask her. “Yes, Mommy, it was warm and cozy there.” And we laugh. 

And two years later--I birthed yet another precious baby girl. It was almost unfathomable. Here I was--still floundering in what in the world I was doing with a toddler, and God granted me another of life’s most amazing blessings--a second daughter. 

And here I sit today--about 10 weeks away from meeting my third baby girl. As she kicks and punches my ever-growing belly, I imagine what she looks like, what we will name her, and how fun life will be with three--might I assume redheaded--little girls. 

At the same time, I battle fear. 

I look at my few successes in motherhood, but it’s hard not to dwell on my failures... 

My preschooler who still wets her pants--nearly every single day. Potty training? Yeah--it’s been extremely humbling. 

The ever-growing laundry mountain that I just can’t seem to tame. 

The fact that, sometimes, my kids eat rice cakes for breakfast because I just get weary of coming up with an egg/gluten/dairy-free meal day after day. 

Sometimes my arms ache from cleaning up the poop and vomit and the blood--not to mention spilled cereal or water. 

And it’s in those moments that I can choose to dwell on how poorly I do in this job. Or, I can thank God for humbling me. From a person who excelled at everything she tried to a mother who has realized that I just can’t do this job well--not on my own at least. 

It’s then that I knock down my pride and my heart cries, “God, help me. I can’t do this without you.”

And, as always, He does just that. And I’m thankful that He’s using motherhood to refine me. To teach me that when we are humbled, He will lift us up.

*This post first appeared as a column in the Mooresville Weekly newspaper. I have linked to several of my bi-monthly newspaper columns throughout this post. In fact, this blog started out as a place for me to keep my columns...before I officially launched almost 1 year ago!

Have you received your FREE Smoothie eBook yet?! Check out this post to find out how to claim yours today!

I'm linking up with: Growing Home, Far Above Rubies, Time-Warp Wife and Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots at Home, The Better Mom, Women Living Well

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Spring Into Smoothies...All Summer Long {Free Gift for YOU!}

Guess what?! Keeper of the Home's eBooks are all on sale for 25% off! Use code: Challenge25. OR, get all three of her books in a bundle for 50% off using code: BUNDLE50!

I'm so excited to announce another free gift some of my blogging colleagues and I have been working on for you behind the scenes--an eBook all about smoothies!

I don't know about you, but I've kind of been on a smoothie kick the past few years. They're healthy, refreshing, and so much cheaper to make at home! (I wish I could make you one right now!)

With the recipes in this FREE eBook, I promise you'll never get bored with the same old smoothie! 

Some of my favorites are Anne's choco-cado smoothie (like a chocolate milkshake--made with avocados!), Nikki's peanut butter cup smoothie and my triple berry smoothie!

As soon as my blog is transferred to WordPress (sometime in the next 2 weeks!), this eBook will automatically show up as a downloadable link for my RSS/e-mail subscribers. 

But, for now, please e-mail me at thehumbledhomemaker at gmail dot com to request your copy! (This book is for e-mail/RSS subscribers only! See below on how you can subscribe!)

Be sure to visit the other contributors of this book, and our awesome book formatter--Nikki--and cover designer--Jami!

Anne at Quick and Healthy, Cheap and Easy

Nikki at Christian Mommy Blogger

Rachel at Day2Day Joys

Mindy at The Purposed Heart

Jami at Young Wife's Guide

*I'm linking up with: Works for Me Wednesday, Kelly the Kitchen Kop

 

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Fast & Frugal Snacks Straight From Your Garden {at Keeper of the Home}

Guess what?! Keeper of the Home's eBooks are all on sale for 25% off! Use code: Challenge25. OR, get all three of her books in a bundle for 50% off using code: BUNDLE50!

Today I'm posting again over at Keeper of the Home. Here's an excerpt: 



During the month-long Eat From Your Pantry & Freezer Challenge, some of us have an added advantage--our summer gardens. If you live in a warmer region like I do, you may already have some yummy produce ready to harvest. So if your pantry or freezer starts to look bare, why not just walk outside and grab a fast and frugal snack straight from your garden?!


From the super easy veggies that require nothing more than picking, washing and (sometimes) cutting to the snacks that require a little more prep, you may have all you need for a great summer snack sitting right in your backyard.


Hop on over to Keeper of the Home to read the rest of this post!

Check out my other Keeper of the Home posts:

• 10 Homemade Kitchen Cleaners
• 10 Ingredients to Make From Scratch
• Healing Ear Infections Holistically
• Embryo Adoption
• Increase Your Wardrobe--Without Spending Any Money
• A Comparison of Birth Settings: Home, Hospital and Birth Center
• 11 Ways to Celebrate Christ This Christmas
• OB or Midwife: Finding the Birth Provider That Works for You
• Giving Yourself a New Year's Planning Retreat
• Affording Cloth Diapers on a Low Income

Potty Training a Strong-Willed Child: You Can Lead a Boy to the Potty, But You Cannot Make Him Pee {Guest Post at The First Years}

Today we continue our potty training mini series as part of our ongoing "The First Years" series that is covering the most precious little years! I'm delighted to have Savannah from Ramblings of a Christian Mom guest posting today! Please pay her blog a visit! 

Image by Wu's Photo Land

Guest Post by Savannah of Ramblings of a Christian Mom

People thought they were being encouraging when they kept telling me that my son, Tobias, would eventually potty train. "After all, he won't go to kindergarten in diapers!"

This was true; only because we're homeschooling. He was still in diapers the September he would have started Junior Kindergarten, a few months before his 4th birthday.

Image by Michael Bentley

I tried to do all the right potty training things. I bought a potty very early, before he was 2,  and we practiced sitting on it just to get used to it. Sometimes I would put him on the toilet with a potty ring on it and read a story just in case something happened.

A while after he turned 2, I tried sticking him in underwear and potty training him. He just didn't care if he was sitting in wet pants or not. He would freak out if I made him take off his own wet undies. After a while, I decided he just wasn't ready.

Image by Manish Bansal

Fast forward a few months, when he was closer to 3. Again, on went the undies. I would make him sit on the potty every 1/2 hour for a few minutes to see if he had to pee. Most often, he would pee within minutes of getting up. Again, every time I made him change his undies himself he would cry and cry. I would get frustrated; he got frustrated. I had people on all sides telling me that if I gave up, I was letting him win. After almost a week of this, I finally put him back in diapers. 

Let this be the biggest lesson I learned about potty training: It's OK to try again later!

Tobi is very strong willed. I knew by the time he was 3 that he had the control to potty train, he just didn't want to, and I couldn't force him. I finally realized that that was OK.

Image by abbybatchelder

The next time, I waited until my daughter Annabel, who is 16 months younger than Tobi, was just over 2 years old. By this point my 2nd son Josiah had come along, and we had 3 in diapers. 

I put both Tobi and Annabel in undies and sat them side by side on matching potties (that we happened to find a different times at different thrift stores!). Again, Tobi didn't care to really try. But at least Annabel potty trained that week!

Image by abbybatchelder

I didn't let myself get worked up about Tobi's refusing to potty train this time. I told Tobi every reason I could think of how it would benefit him to use the toilet instead of diapers, but he didn't want to. So I let it go. It was so much less stressful!

It wasn't long before Tobi started complaining that the tabs on his diapers were rubbing his sides and hurting. I kept  telling him that it was because he was getting too big for diapers. When we reached the end of the package of diapers, I told him, "That's it. You keep saying that the diapers hurt you; that's because you've gotten too big for diapers. This is the last diaper. After this, you'll have to wear undies."

Image by abbybatchelder

And he accepted it! From that day on, day and night, he was potty trained! Sure, he sometimes has the "too-busy-playing, waited-too-long" accidents that all boys and girls have. But other than that, he has been clean and dry! 


He just had to decide for himself that he was ready to use the toilet like a big boy. As soon as he accepted my reasoning  as to why he couldn't wear diapers any more, he was fine! He was just a few months short of turning 4.

I know that some people won't agree with how I handled potty training my son. I heard many many times that I had to "be the mom" and not give in until he used the potty. I had people telling me that I should punish him every time he had an accident when he was refusing to potty train. I was told about several children who potty trained themselves at 2 years of age or younger (why do people think it's encouraging when someone is struggling with something, to talk about how they never struggled with it--and not actually offer any encouragement?) 

Image by hoyasmeg

Before I decided that it was OK to let Tobi wait until he was ready, I was frustrated, stressed, embarrassed to have an almost-4-year-old in diapers, and I felt like a bad Mom. What was I doing with 3 kids when I couldn't even potty train my son?

If you're having a hard time potty training your child, I hope this can be encouraging for you. He will eventually potty train! Don't worry about what every one else says; their children aren't your child. What worked for them won't necessarily work for you. You know your child best! 


A child has to be physically ready in order to potty train, but he also has to be emotionally and mentally ready! If potty training becomes a stressful negative thing (like I let it become) it will take longer. They won't want anything to do with it if they see that it's making Mommy upset. And most of all, it's OK to try again later; it's not giving up, it's giving your child more time to grow up.

Savannah blogs at Ramblings of a Christian Mom from Ontario, Canada. She and her husband have three children 4 years old and younger, and recently found out they are expecting their 4th child in January.




Don't miss a post in this series!

• Infant Potty Training 
• Potty Training Readiness Signs
• Tossing Aside the Pull-Ups and Pulling Out the Undies

Be on the lookout for these upcoming posts:

I'm so excited about the other upcoming posts in this series, including:

• Potty Training a Strong-Willed Child
• Potty Training a Child with Food Allergies
• The 3-Day Potty Training Method
• Top 10 Potty Training Must-Haves
• Grace for Potty Training
• A Cloth Training Pants giveaway from Sew Crafty Baby 
• and more! 

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